So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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