Cold hands, warm shart.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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