You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
These tits shall not be calmed
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
