He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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