I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
