I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize