I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
