She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
