Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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