I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
