I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
