My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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