My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
