Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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