oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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