Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
