I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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