some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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