I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
