Are we in a gay sports bar?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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