he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
