Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
