How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
