i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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