I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
