i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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