Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
