I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
