Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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