Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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