check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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