is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
