I'm eating all of the evidence.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
