meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
