sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize