dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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