I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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