so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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