As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Green mimosas i think yes
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
