i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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