I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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