Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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