guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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