I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
