At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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