Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
