Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
