At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
