i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
