Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
