I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
