Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize