dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Two words: blizzard sex
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
