Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
