i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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