in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
