but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Semen is not good for contacts.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
