that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
