Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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