Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
