Plan B is the new Plan A
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
