Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
