I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
